Log in

The things we never said [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

(no subject) [Aug. 5th, 2011|10:11 pm]
[Current Mood |coldcold]

 For the briefest moment, there you were, right in front of me
I didn't say a thing.
Link2 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Aug. 3rd, 2011|11:54 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Mood |cheerfulcheerful]

I recently created a tumblr for my time in penn and japan, if i do end up going- it shall be parent and general public friendly, i.e., i will try and avoid the mopey sentimentality that is so pervasive over here. 

Have been doing some extra volunteering recently, and after I chirped my usual "have a lovely day!" at one old man he smiled and exclaimed, 

Yes I will have a lovely day! Every day is a lovely day, that's the way to live!
I was a bit at a loss about how to respond to that except to smile sweetly and skip off, but it was a beautiful thing to hear. 
On the other hand, on the same bright, sunny day:

I: Good morning!
Old man #2: (rather indignantly, huddling in papery bath robe in dark, curtained room) 
                        NOT a good morning. It's bloody freezing! 

Link3 comments|Leave a comment

facebook [Apr. 9th, 2011|08:00 pm]
[Current Mood |chipperchipper]

I finds J on facebook profile (as usual)

I: Hey why the hell do you have two brothers? You don't have two brothers! I don't have two brothers!! I dem-
J: You're married.
I: ...
LinkLeave a comment

we are an unalcoholic family [Mar. 11th, 2011|10:05 pm]
[Current Mood |worriedworried]

 J: Tequila, Tequila Tequilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
     Hey daddy, do you know what's Tequila?
D: Tequila? Is that the name of a place?
J: No!!! 
    It's supposed to be bad for you. Like, you put it on your hand and lick it off.

To be honest, I'm not all too sure myself. Isn't it some sort of .....drink?

Anyway, I've been watching the news about japan and it is heartbreaking and terrifying and my heart goes out to everyone there, everyone with family there- みんな無事でありますように祈っています。
Link3 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Mar. 2nd, 2011|10:51 pm]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]




LinkLeave a comment

(no subject) [Feb. 9th, 2011|10:45 pm]
 Also, I don't know who's going to look at this, but I'd like to share this song. We listened to it during French and I think i almost wept. I might put a translation up over the weekend, if I'm free enough.

Link1 comment|Leave a comment

you've got that right, mr.jerome [Feb. 7th, 2011|07:44 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Mood |chipperchipper]

 It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one. 
Jerome K. Jerome
LinkLeave a comment

trying to be conversational with a 10 year old [Feb. 6th, 2011|10:55 pm]
[Current Mood |happyhappy]

 I: So, Josh, what movies do you like?
J: Uh.... I don't really have any favourites
I: (in coaxing grown up voice) Come on, you're bound to like something!
J: Well... I really like the movie constipated.
I: (while struggling inside with bewilderment at potential deterioration of auditory capabilities threatening to give rude shock to innocent ears) ...What was that?
J: (extremely matter-of-factly) Constipated.
     ...But it never came out.
I: ...

T&J&parents left this morning. They were here for hardly a week but it feels strange now that they're gone and the sofa bed is again a sofa and the kitchen is scrupulously clean, and the living room is silent, no longer a place where you step into a shower of nerf darts against a backdrop of furtive whispers and the occasional and rather triumphant sounding fart. Though I didn't join in their painstaking stop motion film-making or their bedtime games or their eat-as-much-as-you-can competitions, I liked having them around. The house is always a cosy, homey place, but it's nice to have different people around to change the atmosphere a little. Really reminds you that a place or a space is really made what it is by the people in it.

Following the heavy rain on Friday night (where we had a power cut right when I was about to start on homework and, happily deprived of the means to do that, played fruit ninja and knots with my brother by candlelight) my bed got a little sogged at the side because somehow the torrents seeped through the windows, so on Saturday we had to move half the things in my room out so my parents could move all my furniture approx 10cm to the right. Inspired by this opportunity, I moved my chair to the other side of my desk, and mom and i put my furry rug where my chair used to be, and piled a few cushions into what has now become my new reading corner and it's great. Such a small change, but I feel like my room's been given a makeover and it's quite exciting :D

Last week of summer french- the weeks have just flown by!!
Link2 comments|Leave a comment

macarons: attempt 1 [Jan. 16th, 2011|11:27 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |quixoticquixotic]

 I was on the verge of weeping with exasperation and misery by the time I put these into the oven.

Okay I lie. I was actually rather horrified and generally amused but anyway. The stupid cloth piping bag I decided to use leaked greasy moisture, and, more infuriatingly, bits of batter snaking out through odd pores, the nozzle was too small and the smooth supposedly 'magma-like' (how am I supposed to know how magma looks anyway?!) batter lumped around and, even after being left for more than half an hour, refused to smooth out into adorably flat, even circles. And then I burnt the first batch that went in. And when it came out, before i could carefully pick the shells off the baking paper, mom promptly plucked a shell right off the paper, removing half its belly... I stopped her before she could destroy the whole batch, though with the state of things I don't think there would have been much else to destroy. But then, this is experience! I scraped all their bottoms and glued them together alternating peanut butter and jam as their fillings because 1) i am too lazy to make ganache 2) ganache (heavy cream, butter and sugar) is not a friend of my mother. 

These look nothing like the cute macarons I saw and photographed with ecstatic wonder on Friday. I will not post photos of those for the sake of my round little fatties. On the bright side, J says they taste nice. And at least they don't look like oatmeal cookies. J insists that macarons are cousins of the chocopie, or they may have appeared as a more compact, high class verson of the chocopie (this is chocopie). I was in a disdainful mood today and informed him rather irritably that macarons had been around since at least the Middle Ages, thank you very much, while it was highly doubtful that chocopies enjoyed the same illustrious history. My next batch of chocopies macarons will hopefully be flatter, and i may possibly colour them with something other than cocoa so that they look less like chocopie, like this batch here.

Link2 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Jan. 15th, 2011|10:41 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |blankblank]

 For homework this weekend, apart from ploughing through pages of Albert Camus in French, we have to write two short stories, one about happiness and one about sadness. As simple as that seems I am having a ridiculously hard time even choosing something that can succinctly encapsulate a single emotion, and even worse a time expressing that in a language I can barely understand.

I think I've hit the rut. I'm past the beginner stage of wide-eyed wonder and now the language comes to me me not as a super simplified, carefully chosen textbook selection of basic words and phrases with rudimentary meanings- hello, how do you do, it is so very hot today- but as a great, pulsing river of thoughts and ideas and emotions. It comes so close and clear that I can almost feel its might, so replete with the richness of people and history and time. Yet at the same time the nearer I get, the more the fragmented phrases and unfamiliar words come into relief as well. As if stuck behind a great glass wall, I find that while I can see the world that is encased in this beautiful language, sense the love stories people have told with it, the lilting music of childhood tales, the angry smatterings of vulgar quarrels, the grief and joy and envy and fear and pride and humanity that these words have held- still hold- while this world is so terribly close, I cannot touch it. It is beyond my reach, and when I try to draw words, to tell my own story, I find I have nothing to say because I have nothing to say it with.

The funny thing about learning a language after you have learnt to write and talk is that unlike in childhood when each word gives you a new idea and a new way of looking at things, as someone older you find that you do have ideas already, you just don't have the means to express them. You feel the thought sitting there in anticipation; sometimes already formed in another language, it waits impatiently as you try, desperately and at times without success, to match some word to it that will make it real. It is humbling to be stripped to the very bare basics, to struggle to represent even the simplest ideas and feelings. And it is extremely unnerving to realize how hopelessly dependent you are on language to say something, to mean something. I've been wondering, though, is it possible to have a thought without language? 

Anyway, here I am, frustrated and depressingly mind blocked. Wrote a draft for 'a happy day' but without the freedom that comes from a reasonably sized stock of grammar and vocabulary, it came out looking awkward and lopsided, as if written by a very pretentious (and rather mediocre) child. Thanks to this, I've stopped taking English so much for granted, but I wonder if, given the liberty of using my native language, I would then find something worth saying...?
LinkLeave a comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]